Lemons & Llamas.

I don't even tell people half of the shit thats happened/happening in my life, I like to act fucking happy most of the time. We only live once and honestly, you should live for the moment! We're so young, and soo many people are making the mistake of being so serious... I did the exact same thing and it fucked me up majorly.
And then there are other people.. who just don't get anything. They don't get that people can have alot of shit going on in their lives and just not talk about all of it.
There is so much you don't know about me, because it hurts so much to talk about. It hurts because I tried to repress everything and hide who I am. I realise now I can't live my life like that, and that people are truly ignorant at times. 
I am just going to write all the shit I am really angry about right now, I will obviously leave some stuff out because it's abit...not awesome. 
I'm about to loose someone I love. I was sexually abused multiple times by different people. I cry myself to sleep. I almost killed myself last year, and the person who stopped me from doing it hates me now. I don't even know how to tell people i'm hurting, because everyone thinks i'm some kind of hyperactive girl who talks like a dude. I don't know how to stand up for myself, and everyone seems to walk over me...
I loved someone so very much, and they crushed me.
I just want to cry. 
I always wanted a friend who I could tell everything, and when I found that person I was too nervous to say anything because I knew i'd just cry.
This is shit. And theres so much stuff I can't even write...because it could just fuck up alot of things. I shouldn't even care about that.. but I do. :(
ughauiqwidujqwsd.