Bye bye beautiful. 

I like this, right now, right here, with you :)

soooooooooooooooooooooo happy, for the first time in a long long while.

:)

It bugs me when people are too set in their own ways to even attempt to do something differently. Or when someone labels an entire musical genre "crap" just because it's not their "scene". Idiots.  People need to be more open minded, I'm sick of people dictating to me what is good and what isn't... pretty sure I can make up my own mind.


:)

haaawt biddiez ;)

Blondie - Greatest Hits.


/jizz

Chloeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ;)

operation confusion.

HA HA HA HA HA.
lol @ Nick for loosing his wallet BY THROWING IT AT A BOUNCER.
HURR DURR HERP DERP.

...if you're feeling sinister.

"You know that story that has no happy ending? I'm living it."

Photography by Alice Rosati

smile smile smile. 

5 seasons of Daria ;)

HA HA HA HA HA.

Sorry I couldn't change my physical makeup in order to have big boobs.
Sorry thats not good enough for you, and sorry you're just a shallow prick.
Have fun being a miserable asshole.

ps. don't bother ever talking to me again, i'm over your shit. And frankly you can find a new "friend" because really, you're no better then the people you dislike. And the things you've said are far more hurtful than anything anyones ever done to me before. :)
AsShOlEEE11111!!!

Ha.

Hahaha I just had one of those moments when I realised what a total cock you are.

I wish I was smart enough to realise you just act completely differently around other people. 

Get out of my life :)

Vampire Weekend version of fight for this love is absolutely amaaaaaaazing.
I would totally make love to that version of the song if it were possible.

But for now, I'll just put it on repeat :)
love love love love fish. /shifty eyes

I have a tiny book.

It's really cute :)

This boy’s got my head tied, in knots with all his games
I simply want him more because he looks the other way.


1. this is killing me.
2. I hope it hurts you too.
3. :)

I am jealous of people who are able to find a person they are content with.
To me it's just unrealistic... they'll never want you as much as you want them and vise versa.
I thought I had something close, but I was so very very wrong. 
All I had was an illusion - something I didn't want to let go of, because I was afraid to crash into a smoldering heap of emotion. (hahaah that was sooo lame)
But still, it's not like I'm looking for love, or anything close...but when you trick yourself into thinking someone is perfect, they can do nothing wrong, and would be forgiven for anything.
One day, I wont be gullible or naive, and I'll find someone who isn't so indecisive. Then maybe i'll be able to relax instead of worrying about hurting them before they hurt me again.
That truly is a childish way to work...

Why is it that the block person feature on facebook doesn't work the one time I want to use it...

fuck.

I wish I never forgave you the first time.

The most annoying thing. EVER

My phone has officially gone skitz.
I've received the same messages 5 times...
And clearly people don't send things 5 times.
Oh well :)
Lovely reminder that three like to have retarded days. 

If you've ever loved somebody put your hands up.

Don't like, love or get too close to people. The only guaranteed thing is heartbreak.


:)


I guess you're right - The Posies
fucking fucker :)


"I'm taken by you taking me apart..."

I hate when people insist on gossiping about the most insignificant issues ever.
Like for one, it's none of your business, and two it's not really something to gossip about..
It's fucking annoying.
Just proves some people have no substance at all.

Christina Grimmie. Marry me?

so good!

:)

You really irk me.

To be honest,
I get annoyed when you say you want to talk to me, and then don't say anything..........
it's like...cool.

Axolotl.

I am purchasing an Axolotl named Fredrick.
The name Fredrick is to honor Fredrick the huntsman who was tragically taken from us by a Nike Air.
Fredrick the Axolotl will be KICKASS.
And plus, dad agreed to this and the rule of "no take backs" totally applies right now...
NO TAKE BACKS, I GET MY FLIPPIN AXOLOTL.
MINE MINE MINE.

Thankyou

The last two months have been the worst I've ever lived through, but the fact I'm still here is something I'll attribute to some unexpected people...

And I'd like to thank them for being there, sending me random texts, calling me, and just overall being amazing. 

I owe you all alot, more than you will probably ever realise.

I truly love each one of you.

Thankyou x frogs

because frogs are da shizzle. 

rah rah rah!

I cried today.

I cried because I realised none of you even bothered to ask me what was going on, but you all banded together and made assumptions behind my back.

That hurt more than you will ever know.

 And the saying feeling alone in a room full of people had never made more sense to me than it does now. 

Loss.

It's your loss, not mine, because I think everyone can see how much I tried... 
:)

So... they made a new one and just didn't invite you. 

 If you want me let me know, if you don't...let me go :)
For I am ready for world dominationnnnnnnnn!

I laughed so hard I almost cried.
That was the most hilariously pathetic thing ever.
Silly silly silly.

fucking...

The word fucking is so fucking versatile. 

Fucking things I am fucking loving at this moment in time :)

FUCKING WHERE?

fucking Gyllenhaal lovin' <3

fucking ouch.

fucking indie freaks

fucking lol.

fucking.

 fucking ahahah!

fucking story of my fucking life. FUCK.

Avert your fucking eyes.

FUCKING WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT.

This is so wrong, but so  fucking right...

fucking fuck fuck want!

fucking cats.

NO FUCKING NIPPLES

FUCKING ATE MY PEAR.

FUCKING ORGASM?

hathathathathathathathat :)

:)

Truly wasn't planned nor my fault.
But you can think I did it on purpose if you wish.
I just needed someone to talk to...
Like really needed it.

I'm getting tired of you pushing me 'round
Dragging me down
Making a sound because you wanna
I guess that's why I like messing with you
Putting you through
A lesson or two, because I'm gonna
Before I go my own way
I just gotta say

Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Oh, Leave me alone

There was the time I thought you were the one
Having some fun
Getting it done
What an illusion
'Cause you were trying to take control of me
That couldn't be, I need to be free of this confusion
Don't give me a guilt trip, because I'm so over it

Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Oh, leave me alone

Don't turn around and don't look back
I see right through all your selfless acts

Oh

Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Oh, leave me alone

If you win your love

I'll feel better on my own

Leave me alone 

I discovered I am a very convincing liar.
I also discovered you're an idiot.
I wouldn't want to be you right now. :)

If it ain't broke, don't fix it :)

lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

I found this on tumblr. 

Arnold: It’s funny—when you like someone and they don’t really like you back, it’s not so bad. But when you really like them like them, but you find they just like you, it hurts.




Oh Arnold, why so srs? hahaha :)

RE POST.

I am re filling out some survey thingo's I found on my facebook.
It's been over a year and I wanna see if my answers have changed dramatically.
SOOOOOOoo here goes. And there is another one, but it was one of those "ABC" survey things, so I might do it later.. kinda ceebs


Number 2.
You're single, why?
because... i'm weird :) (that was the original answer and it still stands)

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I used to say I accepted myself the way I was, now I realise I worry too much, but it turns out i had reason to. So i'd change how anxious I am.

Do you eat ranch with your pizza?
NO. yucky

What are some lyrics to the song you're listening to?
I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound.

What is the last reason you cried?
Because I'm sooooo stupid, and I let my emotions get the better of me.

Do you love anybody?
MANY PEOPLE!

Do you think you and your best friends will still be friends in 10 years?
yes, i hope so, i love them so much.

Could you even go 30 minutes without cursing?
umm no :)

Have you had any beer this week?
NOPE!

What color are your eyes?
really dark brown

Have you ever eaten an uncooked cookie?
yes, cookie batter :)

Can you cook?
kindas?


What's bothering you?
Many things actually, one thing in particular, but I am working on repressing any damaging thoughts, so I can go back to being my old self :)

Is there a place you would like to visit?
California, sun, surf, hot guys..?
OH AND JAPAN!

Do you know anybody that's in jail?
no.. *shifty eyes*

Are you cold?
my feet are always cold :)

Are you shy or outgoing?
hyperactive with friends, quite around others.. 
And probably alot less trusting.

Would you date someone who smokes?
ummm yes..
i dont like smoking though but its their choice ya know.

Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single?
Right now, I don't even know.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Hopefully, they are rank

What's the connection between you and the last person who texted you?
One of my best friends.

What does the last text message you received say?
Can't really write that on here, but it was lovely :)

'Do you prefer to call or text?
Call.


Are your parents married/ separated/ divorced?
Married

Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
i sleep diagonal

Does your head hurt when you cry?:
Yes, alot.

Have you ever watched a foreign film with English subtitles?:
ALL THE TIME

Do you think that in the end, everything will fall into place?:
Knowing my luck, no.

What's the closest transparent object to you?:
Raspberry Ice Tea

Do you like mayonnaise? Did I even spell that right?:
yes and dunno

Do you keep 3D glasses after you've left the movie theatre?:
i have around three pairs in my underwear drawer, i know weird..

Do you know what FTW stands for?
For the win?

When was the last time you went bowling?:
I honestly don't remember, I think it was in year 11 on community service or something.

Do you use aerosol hairspray? It's bad for the environment, you know...:
Iyes..and oops.

Do you write it, alot or a lot?:
alot, it's cool bro.

Does it annoy you when people are always smiling and happy all the time?:
no, i love being happy. But I do hate when others rub their happiness in my face when I'm feeling like flippin shit.

Miley Cyrus rings your door bell, and asks for some shelter. You say…?:
lets go to my room ;)
HA no actully, i'd make her sleep on the floor.

What would you say if someone called you at 3 AM to have a casual convo?:
Well considering only two people ever call me that late - to one I'd say "sup bro"
To the other, "fuck off and die"

Have you ever yelled at an authority figure?:
Yes... I am not proud.


When was the last time you had to pee really badly?:
lol, like a few minutes ago

When was the last time you made fun of someone?:
this afternoon, all in good nature. 

Deleted phone number.
Deleted messages.
Hide from news feed.


winn0rz :)

You're a cock. You're a cock. You're a cock.

sometimes when things are said, I want you to tell me I'm wrong. 

That maybe things could be different. 

But obviously there is no point.

I am sooooo dumb.

scooscooscoo

I wish you could block people on here.

I no longer want my thoughts to be open to some people.

:)

I love when some ignorant asshole continually insults me anonymously without reason. 
If they offered some type of reason for their apparent resentment I might have the slightest bit of respect for them, but they are truly just a coward with the guts of an earthworm. People like that will die bitter and alone. 
poo poo.

One day you'll get sick of

saying that everything's alright

And by then I'm sure I'll be pretending

Just like I am tonight.

Everyone is beautiful. We just never see ourselves that way. 

Everything.

This is just a sporadic list of everything I feel like writing down at this moment in time. This wont make any sense to anyone who reads this unless you've heard me explain why I can't sleep properly... and why I have insomnia.
1. I have a blood nose. 
2. I'm having nightmares again.
3. I am utterly afraid to be alone in my room. 
4. I keep seeing him everywhere. And it's scaring the shit out of me.. 
5. I am so sick of all this hocus pocus bullshit. I mean I can act like I don't believe in it...but it doesn't change the fact I am terrified. 
6. My mum gets worried if I tell her it's happening so I just...don't. 


I don't really know why it's starting again.. but the last time this happened I was an utter mess for about two weeks. 
I just want to be able to sleep. :)

I'm going out...

Not with a fizzle, but with a bang.

I'm going to put all these petty rumors behind me.

If you have something to say about me, you're safer saying it straight to my face, because I will find out and I wont be happy :)

It's time to grow up, face the fact that people are not perfect but have enough balls to tell someone you're fucking angry with them. Thats what I'm doing from now on. The last week has really changed my perspective on people, but most of all, it's made me feel closer with people who have always been there. So in a way I'm thankful for the backtalk and secrecy because it certainly makes it clear who real friends are.

So from now on, there will be no gossip and drama, all I want is honesty and thats all I'm going to give. 

Truth.

You don't know the full story, you don't know the truth and yet you'll crucify me based on their words.
The dawning of realisation has hit, I know now that you cannot be trusted. 
To any degree - you're a liar, a false friend. Not someone I need in my life.
This came as an utter shock to me, I got so angry when I found out. 
But the truth is, I don't need someone like you. 
Someone who wont even attempt to understand, or at least try to be open minded.
You always acted like you understood, but I guess you're just really good at lying to my face.
Fuck you x 100.

stir stir stir.

People who meddle just cause more problems.
Even if it's with the best intentions, if someone says DON'T say anything, it generally means they really don't want you to involve yourself.
I fucked up, I get to live with that, but other people's inputs just make it so much worse.
I don't  like myself - nor do I like the thoughts that run through my head sometimes, and I just want so badly to be happy and not have to worry or think about things.
ugh x 100

/sigh.

I settled down

A twisted up frown

Disguised as a smile, well

You would have never known

I had it all

But not what I wanted

pretty pretty flowers :3

I feel like I've done something wrong, but I don't know what it is. 
:(

Don't break, Don't break my heart and I wont break your heart shaped glasses.

NARP! + chlo

I AM YELLING IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.

/dances like a penguin 

I reached the peak of insanity last night :)

The not being able to sleep combined with the fact my mind and body where exhausted resulted in some fun semi conscious or "sleep walking" adventures!!

I have discovered I should no longer go to sleep thirsty, it just results in me sleep walking to the fridge and acquiring refreshments and straws... drinking the entire can in under 5 minutes and then sleeping curled in a ball 

ON THE FLOOR.

I woke up paranoid that something was watching me..and literally ran into the kitchen waving my arms about like a loony... so the caffeine I have been consuming lately really isn't doing me any favours. 

And maybe the lack of sleep combined with my plethora of thoughts is just driving me mad.

So I've decided I will just try not to think about things that get to me, infact perhaps I will ignore circumstances that cause me to become anxious, and maybe then I will be better off.

Well...in my mind this seems like a suitable replacement, but at the end of the day I know that putting things off just results in paranoia and rambling. 

Although, I am already rambling so maybe I'm really insane... DUN DUN DUNN.

Also, I would like to apologize to Chloe who often listens to me ramble about multiple things and always listens, you make me happyhappy! 

p.s. this is so creepy...(click the this) ;)

Beans.

I know that whatever I write is going to feel stupid later, Iv'e backspaced this about 10 times already - changing my mind about what I really want to say, so fuck it here goes nothing...


I've become too attached, I see that now. 
I didn't think of it as a bad thing until those words were mentioned
"moving too fast"
But now I can see how fragile I've become, and I hate it.
I'm so used to distancing myself from people when I feel at risk, but now...I am fucked.
I can't run away, I can't hide. I have to face myself. and I have to face this
Whatever this is.


fuck.

Boy of my dreams?

ohhhhhhhhhhhh yes ;)
mineminemine.

oh oh oh.

It's like I'm running in circles, trapped in this stupid reality. All I wanted was to find my escape. I had it, but I pushed it away just so I could fall into this never ending cycle once again. 

I thought it would be different this time...I was wrong.

I should know this isn't changing, the situation may be different, but the outcome is always going to be the same. 

I see it, I think we all do. I just don't want to admit that I hurt easier than it appears, and it wont take much for me to be broken. Sometimes life is a big poopoohead.