New York I love you...

But you're bringing me down.

Everything seems so false. 

Whats the point?

/stabbity. 

I want a hug. 

I have my flyleaf playlist, but that just makes me cry :( 

I want everything back. 

Fuck people. 

I want my Nanna. I just...want. 

BE PIZZA. YOU WILL BE SO DELICIOUS!

The good & the bad.

Good

• My new jacket came in le post!
• I painted my nails another shiny colour
• Super cute boyfriend :)

Bad

• Sick of being fucked over.
• Sick. 
• RISOTTO INDUCED MIGRANE WTF?

Snap snap snap!!

ROAAAAAR.

Dinosaurs will eat your face off!

Frowny Face.

Hate is a very strong word, so I am going to opt for "severely dislike".

And right now, I am being given multiple reasons to severely dislike you.
I promise myself you will be the second person I never completely forgive. 
The second person I let leave my life completely.
If you've given up caring so have I.


You realise just how bad something is when people say "what a cunt"... :s
Goodbye indefinitely. 

The only thing holding you back is yourself.
If you let peoples actions and words get to you, you're letting them dictate your life.
Live for yourself.
Smile, laugh, giggle & love every single moment.
Those people who make you frown just aren't worth your time.
Get them out of your life; make them realise they can't hurt you now.
Make them realise they fucked up.

xoxo

Fkn.

This is my favourite hat, and I was forced to crop this epically due to the amount of random shit in my room...

& I fucking love the overexposure Sony camera's seem to automatically come with, I always look mega white!

Fuck you, fuck you very very much. 

Love love love!

Fuck you.

Tits

Tits is such a versatile word, it's exactly how I feel right now.

Lets play with fire tonight.

Lets play with fire tonight, you are the one that I like.

I am just happy. Like even though shit happens at home or with friends, knowing there are people who care about me just make me realise how good life can be. :) 

Serious.

(So I pretty much decided I'd update twice today, one serious and one non serious bunch of text)


I'm nothing special, but the fact I can happily sit here and take note that there are people better than me in all aspects of my being just proves I'm not a stupid bitch.
I am actually so sick of hearing girls talk about how "gross" another girl is. Is this level of bitchiness really necessary? If you don't like someone then fine, thats your decision but there is no need to launch an attack on someone. Fucking hell.
And almost as bad, if not worse than that is the idea of bitchy passive agressive statuses that are there for the sole purpose of attention seeking or sympathy. I think we all have days when we write something just so people will ask if we're okay, but theres a difference between "occasionally" and every second day.
These days I am just overly nice to people because I know it annoys them... it's a form of pleasure to see the annoyance on their faces :)

Fuck off.

If I could kick someone in the crotch really hard, you would be my target :)

sh-sh-shiny!

Shitty quality ipod camera. 

Thankyou to Bianca for making my Birthday hip-hop-happy! ;)

SO SHINY! 

Jizzed.

This is my new favourite song:

Unhappy.

I guess I'd like to know what I've done to you.
What have I done to make you say such nasty things about me?
I try so fucking hard to keep people happy, especially you.
I feel like crying when I hear shit like this, especially from someone I thought was my friend.
This is so bloody ironic. 
Fuck life, dance like a chicken. 

How much your perception of someone changes once you hear all the lovely things they say about you...

I'm fine.

It's just easier to fake a smile then have to explain whats really going on.


And what hurts the most is knowing the one person who would understand isn't there. 

stopstopstopstopstopstopstop. 

Show me your coke. ;)

All you ever think about is sick ideas involving me, involving you. 

18 tomorrow. Fuck. 

I've got an f and a c and I got a k too, and the only thing 

thats missing is a bitch like u.

             - Marilyn Manson.

Hey guess what? I have feelings too, and being treated like shit just makes me want to fucking hit you. :)

I have to be up for uni in 4 hours.
I have an assignment due today at 5pm.
Fuck everyone. 

Too many times I've been wrong, I guess being right takes too long. - Drake

Fuck this to hell.
It's not fair that I am always crying because I try to make people happy. 
I am just going to say "fuck this" and become a recluse. 

ew ew ew.

That feeling when you look back at the past and think "what the fuck was I thinking".

Ohmygoodness, that feeling just SLAPPED me in the face. 

ewewewewewewew. x 100.

:(

Bitchity bitch bitch.

Coward.
That is what you are in my eyes.
How dare you act like we're friends and then do something like that?
You deserve each other really; and when everything fucks up for you, don't you dare come looking for sympathy. 
Have fun bitch. 


over and out. x

Girls.

Look like a girl but I think like a guy
Not ladylike to behave like a slime
Easy to be sleazy when you've got a filthy mind
You stick to your yogurts
I'll stick to my apple pie

Girls are not meant to fight dirty
Never look a day past thirty
Not gonna bend over and curtsey for you.

This song is me me me. 

I'm a step closer to making my decision. :).

My Inspiration.

:) 

Kiss my sass.

Hush don't speak a word about the dreams that I live for...

The "1960's" filter in Picasa 3 results in orangeness. O__O

But I like this top, it's so cute and it was $5! 

So I have a decision to make, it could change my life... and I am so stuck on what to do.

Self deceit.

Telling yourself you're okay doesn't make it true. 

check out http://iwillchangemyways.tumblr.com/

pretty g :)

Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol.

Dear body, please stop trying to punish me.

-___-

Follow me down the rabbit hole.

I'm on a path of self destruction, and it feels fabulous.

feel free to join ;)

This is a kind-of old photo, I think the lack of flash hides all my blemishes almost perfectly.

WOGSTAAA NOSE. ;)

Question me.

http://www.formspring.me/meerkateyes


I guess you can ask me about what I write on here, or what I'm thinking... if you feel like it :)


The anonymity of it all makes everything far more hilarious :)

:(

I'm looking forward to tomorrow and forgetting whats been said - one day you'll just be a memory that I regret. 

Bumbumbum + indie photo filters = win win win

Cracked.

Hid you on  my news feed, now your annoying-ness can leave me alone. 
Kthnks. 

Pet peeve.

That one person who always has to comment on posts which have nothing to do with them.

Who always has to outdo everyone else and add in their thoughts where they are not even wanted.

Gtfo. It's bloody annoying. 

I'm in love with my sadness.

Smashing Pumpkins, yes please! :)

Perfect.

I'm so very far from everything I want to be.
I'm insecure and fragile.
Being alone with my own thoughts is torture...
I am so scared of just allowing myself to be happy, I always feel guilty.
You just wont let me have that happiness, you bombard me with your problems, you make them my own...and then you say the cruelest things I've ever heard.
Stop blaming me for your problems, stop blaming me for things I can't change. Just STOP!
If you cared about me at all, you'd see how much you're hurting me... you'd see that all the money in the world, all the trips to the psychologist.. all the fake smiles... don't mean shit.
But you just don't notice at all.. you just don't care. 
If you're wondering why I burst into tears, or why I made you take me home.. this is your reason.

Trout Pout.

Just stop.
Fucking stop.
Stop pouting at the camera, you look like a retarded fish or like you're severely constipated.
And just when I thought that was bad enough, adding nude lipstick into the equation which looks more like you've lost the plot and smeared concealer over your face... DOES NOT LOOK GOOD.
Stop! JUST STOP IT. 
Nude lipstick can suit people, but you look like a fucking crack whore pouting like that.
ugh. 

Geejuz...

Happily never after

It's like a constant battle to rediscover what I want...

I'm fighting myself, my constant desire to hide away from view and keep to my comfort zone.

I don't want to be stuck like this; and so I'm branching out, finding new things and new people.

I just want independence, I don't want people telling me what I can and cannot do, or who I can and cannot be friends with.

I deserve to make my own choices and mistakes, this is my life. 

Ruuuuuuuuude.

Well that was rude.
O_______________________O.

Fake & Gay.

It does not make you cool to have status after status begging for attention!
It's even worse that you're a boy. 
And each status underpins your real personality, it seems to just morph into some kind of giant blob of crap, to the point where no one is really sure who the fuck you are.
It's rare that things like this bother me, but when people claim to hate something, and then suddenly have obsessive statuses over the very same topic, it's a true sign of being fake. 
Whats worse is no one will even say anything, even though numerous people have pointed this very thing out.
What the fuck am I supposed to do/think/say?
And why is it that people expect me to say something? I mean GEEJUZ this isn't really fair. 
Like can someone else please develop a pair of testicles and do it?
THANKYOU. 

Begging on your knees.

I'll make sure you get what you deserve :)

Brush with death, it brings out the white.

Irony is when you finally feel like I did and tell me "you just don't understand".
Irony is when the heart breaker becomes the heartbroken.
Irony is when someone calls you selfish after you've spent another sleepless night worrying about them.


Realisation, being able to see things for what they truly are and laugh. 
I know I cant change who I am, but being in these positions is making me stronger; maybe one day I'll stand up for myself.  

Suck me off.

I cannot believe how frustrated this is making me. 

FOC. 

A Clockwork Orange.

I hate cutting potatoes. My hands feel so disgusting.

I am loving Dance Gavin Dance at the moment!

And I am also loving peach hearts, sugary goodness! 

Bowler hats are fucking amazing. 

Innocence.

My random and sporadic thoughts:


1. How funny it is that you don't want me till you cant have me; when I no longer show interest or any signs of positive emotions toward you.
If thats how you live the rest of your life, I feel reaaaaaaaaaally sorry for you.


2. I am finally happy just being me, being with people who make me laugh, smile and giggle constantly.
wee wee! 


3. Part of me feels distant from everything, it's like i'm losing myself and blocking things out again.


4. I miss you Hannah, Victoria, Bob, Nanna, Great Grammy, Grandpa, Nannu, Aunt Glenys and Uncle Tom. Stop leaving me :( 


5. I miss my daddy /poutyface


6. I hope uncle Charlie gets better, hes the only thing that reminds my mum of her family :(. 


7. I'm finally able to genuinely be happy about something.


8. My brother is an idiot, gave me the wrong address and hence made me drive around 40 mins looking for him. 


9. My mum is hilarious when drunk. 


10. I am going to shower now ;)

Please girl stay till the early morning ;)

Mila Kunis.. GEEJUZ. 

I love this. 

I love being able to say I don't care.
Finally free from this shit.
:)


FOC.

:reblog.

Listen to this. Just do it.  P.s. thanks :)

Hahaha.

This made me so upset, but it actually makes sense to me.

My relationship with many people ^^

Yes. Franco love.

Sounds like 80% of society.

Zero.

Sometimes I just want to talk to someone, but I keep finding no interest is shown when I have something to say... even though i'll happily partake in any discussion you bring up or at least show interest.
I just cant help but feel crap about this. It's almost as though nothing I say matters; and it actually really hurts.


:( 

U MAD?

OH YEAH DEAD SEAL OH YEAH SKIN. YUMYUM.

Hyperealistic

Linnea Strid. 
Hyper realistic art. 

I love this. It's ridiculously epic. 

mmm.

I can't compete with them, so I'm just going to give up.

It's like the universe is repeating itself...

fml.

Magdalena Pardo Photography.

Eighteen.

Today would have been your 18th birthday. 

You would have been so beautiful and carefree, smiling and laughing like you always used to do.

You were one of the few people who made me feel welcome when I came to Ignatius. 

You didn't care what I looked like or where I came from, you just wanted to be my friend.

No one will ever forget what an amazing person you were, and I will continue to regret all those lasts.

Our last conversation that afternoon in Italian about your trip to Hawaii. If I had known that would be our last I would have told you how much you truly meant to me. So many people love you, and still think about you all the time.

I know you would have made us all proud, thinking about you still makes me smile.

I miss you. 

R.I.P Victoria Rose James. 

18 today.

Hah!

Why do you keep changing who you are?

I can safely say I don't know the real you, because you just seem to change what you like to suit others.

More than once you've proclaimed your hate for something, and then all of a sudden you're obsessed? It's the same with people.

I don't get it.

FYI I am not stupid, so stop treating me like I am. I find it offensive and rude. And if I choose not to talk about something that bothers me, maybe you should stop bringing it up?

I really don't like being upset. 

Fucking hell. The fact I need to write this just makes me so angry, but seriously I will explode if I don't let this out. 

And now on a lighter note... 

OMNOMNOMNOM!

Just Listen.

Fixed at zero.

There's a vulture on my shoulder
And he's telling me to give in
Always hissing right in my ear
Like it's coming from my own head
It's got me mixed up
Trying not to give up
Tell me there's a way to get out of here
Oh, fixed at zero!

Love this song. 

Sometimes it's really clear just how awful people are.

I go out of my way to avoid the awkward situation, especially considering what happened last time. 

I move because I'm visibly upset and my friends can see that.

For you to come over just proves how little respect you have for my feelings, especially if you later attempt to hide when seeing me in the mall.

I don't buy your reasoning, but I'm far too forgiving to question it. 

GEEJUZ.

Baby I was born this way.


And i'm finally learning to love myself. 

People = Shit.

OMG WANT. 

This makes me want a fucking Lizard friend so fucking much !!!
NOTICE HOW I SAID LIZARD FRIEND AND NOT PET?!
<3 LIZARD. 

Lemons & Llamas.

I don't even tell people half of the shit thats happened/happening in my life, I like to act fucking happy most of the time. We only live once and honestly, you should live for the moment! We're so young, and soo many people are making the mistake of being so serious... I did the exact same thing and it fucked me up majorly.
And then there are other people.. who just don't get anything. They don't get that people can have alot of shit going on in their lives and just not talk about all of it.
There is so much you don't know about me, because it hurts so much to talk about. It hurts because I tried to repress everything and hide who I am. I realise now I can't live my life like that, and that people are truly ignorant at times. 
I am just going to write all the shit I am really angry about right now, I will obviously leave some stuff out because it's abit...not awesome. 
I'm about to loose someone I love. I was sexually abused multiple times by different people. I cry myself to sleep. I almost killed myself last year, and the person who stopped me from doing it hates me now. I don't even know how to tell people i'm hurting, because everyone thinks i'm some kind of hyperactive girl who talks like a dude. I don't know how to stand up for myself, and everyone seems to walk over me...
I loved someone so very much, and they crushed me.
I just want to cry. 
I always wanted a friend who I could tell everything, and when I found that person I was too nervous to say anything because I knew i'd just cry.
This is shit. And theres so much stuff I can't even write...because it could just fuck up alot of things. I shouldn't even care about that.. but I do. :(
ughauiqwidujqwsd.

Raspberry.

I am getting really sick of this.
I am not even kidding, I feel like I am going to fucking explode. 
It's just not fair that people expect sooo much but give so little!
I finally stopped being an emotional door mat and this is what I fucking get?
Okay seriously, what the fuck ever.
Don't expect me to give a SHIT about your problems if you're going to be a fucking cunt all the fucking time.
Yes I said cunt, but seriously?
FUCKSTICKSSHITWILLIESOMG.
I cannot handle this, this was one of the reasons I had to see someone in the first place, the amount of fucking stress this puts on me is ridiculous!
Frankly I shouldn't have to worry about everything all the fucking time, but people need to grow up!
Especially "adults". UGHHHH. 

:)

Why hello sunshine :)

Zorik photography. ^^^

It's so funny when things work out like this. When things just fall into place... makes me wonder if the whole concept of "free will" is even there, or if fate is the real force.

Who knows, all I know is I am so much better off now then I was before, I don't have a reliance on anyone, I'm not attached to things and I am happier with everything.

When people don't have expectations, they cant be let down. :)

 I love everyone who I've kept in my life, and I wouldn't be without you. 

Harsh words.

I hate you.

I hate you so much I cant stand to see you.

I hate everything about you.

I hate that you use people.

I hate the fact that someone else is going to be stupid enough to care.

I hate your excuses and the fact you think gifts make it okay. WELL NO.

I wish I was smart enough to never look twice.

Because I cant take it back or make everything right. 

You where right, I have nothing.

And I will always hate you for that.

Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn.